The Loss Hits Differently Around The Holidays

I can’t find the storage tote with our holiday decorations, all the stockings I decorated for the cats we had at the time. Honestly, I hadn’t thought about it for a while. You see, the holidays aren’t my favorite time of the year. My mom loved Christmas, loved making a big dinner for Thanksgiving. And I was happy to see her happy. But after she passed I just hadn’t had it in me to really get into the season.

And then this year we lost our eldest cat, and I remembered the reindeer antler hat I’d purchased for the cats, and how we’d put them on her, and she’d look so grumpy you couldn’t help but smile. Thinking of those reindeer antlers made me think of the stockings, of my other senior cat who passed this year, and how both of them had stockings in that tote I can’t find.

I’ll find it. Maybe not before Christmas as we’re slowly going through our things and organizing, but it will be there, as will the stockings and the memories.

I also know I’m not alone. We make holiday memories with our beloved animal companions because to many of us, they’re a part of the family. They’re included in photographs, given presents under the tree even when some of them think the tree is their gift. They get dressed up and given treats. We find them under the table during big meals, or perhaps sleeping in their favorite spot during the festivities. They are a part of our holidays and that means their absence will be noted and it will be felt.

Grief during the holidays can be tricky. I’ll be speaking about that over the course of future blogs, but right now I just want you to know that you’re not alone. If you’re trying not to cry or actually are crying during what is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, it’s okay. Grief doesn’t come only on the days that aren’t supposed to be happy. It’s with us. Our pet’s loss remains with us, and it takes the time it takes to move forward and find our own path toward creating a life without them.

If you need help right now, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Subscribe to our newsletter. Follow this blog. And you need to speak to someone or just share memories with people who understand, sign up for one of our grief circles. You’re not alone right now, and your grief is nothing to worry about. It is simply a part of who you are, and a part of the way you’re going to interact with the holidays. Those who care about you won’t judge you; they’ll understand. The holidays just aren’t the same without the ones you love.