When we’re grieving we feel like we’re alone. We may feel down or depressed, and this may lead us to a therapist or counselor. But the relationship between a therapist and patient is different than the relationship between the grief specialist (or coach) and client, and when it comes to pet grief, in my experience people need companionship more than they need “healing”.
A therapist often approaches someone’s mental health from the position that something is wrong, that the ways in which the individual is thinking or feeling are maladaptive or somehow harmful. Except it is perfectly natural to grieve the loss of a companion who has been a part of your life for any amount of time. If you have lost a beloved companion who has been with you for years, then the grief will be more intense and more long-lasting. That doesn’t make it wrong.
Grief is never wrong. We grieve because we loved.
Grief is the natural outcome of losing something, or someone, that we enjoyed or loved. We miss that experience in our lives; we try to imagine what our lives would be like without it and there appears to be a gaping hole. The goal with grief coaching is not to “get over” or “move on” from grief, but rather to learn how to remake the contours of life so that we can continue in a new way, from this new normal. With grief, there is no “getting back to” any sort of baseline. Our beloved companion is gone; nothing and no one will bring them back into our lives at this moment.
As a grief coach, I am here to witness your grief, to validate your feelings without judgment or shame, and to help you craft what the future will look like. If you like, I can help you to create a ritual to honor your pet or a way to memorialize them. My work as a grief coach is to support you in whatever way that looks like, without judgment, without a push to “get over it” or somehow be “cured”.
It is companion-ing grief where I feel the true transformational power lies. Because when we are grieving we often want to know two things: when will it feel better? am I alone?
The answers come as we discover your own unique grief journey, and no, you are not alone.
If you’d like support in your grief, I encourage you to sign up for our monthly pet grief circle.
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