Pet Grief Comes In Many Forms

When people talk about pet grief, the most common cause is the death of a pet, whether that’s through euthanasia, natural, or sudden causes. However, there are a few other forms in which grief appears, and these are no less important than the death of a pet. I’d like to take this blog to discuss them and to talk about how they can benefit from a grief pathfinder session.

Anticipatory Grief

For many of us with older pets, we know that the time they have with us is much shorter than the time they’ve spent with us. There is a form of grief that begins when we start to think about our life without them, about possibly even the decision or the day when we would have to make the final, loving act by easing their suffering. Anticipatory grief can be just as strong and just as difficult to deal with as the grief that comes afterwards, and it can also rob us of being in the moment and spending what time we have with our pets.

We shouldn’t dismiss this anticipatory grief or try to minimize it. Instead, we should be willing to feel the grief, to know that someone, our pet, that we love deeply, will be gone from our lives. And then, we need to vow to enjoy every moment possible with them. It is easy to let guilt and sorrow eat away at our time. Instead, be willing to hold the two feelings in your heart. “I will miss you very much when you’re gone, and while you’re here, I will enjoy your company and ensure you are as cared for and as happy as you can be.”

Financial Grief

There are times when our pets need something, whether it’s a supplement or a medical treatment, and the money simply isn’t there for it. Perhaps we’re not buying as expensive of food as we would like because of finances or relying on food from pet food pantry, so it isn’t our preferred brand. There may even be quality of life issues that accompany this grief and because of that, we can often feel guilty or feel as if we’re not being good caretakers because of a lack of funds.

Each situation is different, but the important thing to remember is that your pet often doesn’t care what name is on the bag or can of food, it cares that its fed. If you’re doing the best you can and acting out of love, and ensuring your pet has a good quality of life, then that is the important thing.

Loss through Rehoming

There are times when a pet needs to find a new home, and although, we might know where the pet is going and know that it is for the best, there is still grief. When the rehoming needs to happen due to circumstances outside of our control, then the grief hits harder, the worry becomes greater. Just because a pet didn’t die didn’t mean the loss wasn’t real. And although it’s better if you can visit your companion animal and know that it is happy, when you can’t, then there is the wondering and the grief that goes along with that as well. It’s almost akin to our last type of grief.

Loss through Leaving Home

The final loss is possibly the most difficult to deal with–when a pet gets out and doesn’t come home. It’s the kind of thing that pet parents dread and worry about. And there can often be no closure. When a pet runs out and disappears, there can be a lot of guilt, a lot of worry, and a lot of “what if”s racing through your mind mind. However it is important to remember that when that happens, it is an accident. A moment in time that occurred because your animal companion is a living being with its own thoughts and its own behaviors, some of them instinctual.

No matter what type of grief you’re dealing with the important thing is to be gentle with yourself, to support yourself, and to seek help when necessary. You can book a free call to talk about how Pet Grief Pathfinding sessions can help you.